Dear Reader: what about you?

Asking your thoughts on the the Ornamental scribbles so far

Jun 25, 2023

Dear Ornament gang,

I hope you are surviving in this weather. I am not. I have the constitution of a very delicate, very fickle, English rose, whose precious petals must never look upon the bright glare of Helios, much less feel the actual heat on her soft and wilting skin, and every day is a new fresh hell to endure.

Nevertheless, I hope you are faring better. Summer eh? Yay!

actual footage of me dying from inside my room with a view - OF SUNNY HELL

Halfway to the finishing line

Next weekend we will be HALFWAY through the year. 50%. Midpoint.

That’s right - start panicking and frantically signing up to more half marathons than you can shake an exhausted limb at, because this year is almost half full, baby. Or, if you’re an optimist - half empty. You’ve got a whole 6 months still to fill up your shopping trolley with new experiences and all those New Year’s resolutions you haven’t had a chance to get started on yet. Bonus!

(Disclaimer: I do not in fact endorse the relentless pursuit of overachievement or unfeasible New Year resolutions based on evaluating your worth through accomplishment, as per my first post)

Penny for your thoughts

I’ve got something longer in the works for the regular post next week (maybe it will be about Clown School, who knows? Surely some aspect of ridiculous failure will be on the cards, as it is my speciality) - but in the meantime, I wanted to ask for your opinion.

I’ve been writing Ornaments for 6 months now, and I’d really like to know what you think so far. Whether you’ve been onboard since the beginning, or you’re just joining now - it’s great to know you’re reading and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Ornaments…that some people like?

When I started the newsletter, I gave myself quite a broad remit, and a lot of grace to mess up. I had wanted to start writing & sharing my ideas for such a long time, and put it off again and again - I knew the only way to get it done was to create a structure that allowed me to meander a bit, and that didn’t hold me to a rigorous publishing schedule.

I had to give myself space to fail, in order to move forwards at all.

Halfway through the year seems an excellent point to take stock. Holding myself to a manageable (but somehow still often quite difficult??) standard of publishing a longish essay on creativity and self-expression once a month has meant that I’ve written much less than I wanted to in an ideal world, but infinitely more than I would have I done if I’d just waited for that ideal world to materialise (my previous technique).

By allowing the good-enough version of me-on-the-page to stumble her way forwards, I’ve managed to manifest something which otherwise would have remained a hostage in my perfectionist brain. This good-enough page version wants me to know that her feet hurt and she’s got blisters - but I tell her (myself); at least you’re moving.

And I would like to know what you think of her. I have lots of ideas for the newsletter going forwards, but I’d also like to hear from you what are the things you enjoy (or don’t), and what you take away from the time we spend together.

Recap

You can read all my posts so far on the Ornaments homepage.

I’ve written about:

Birthday dread - with the inherent pressure to have something to show for it

Being expected to smile onstage (and the joy of learning not to)

When success just feels like the daily grind - and how the practice of making a life you’re proud feels different to our expectations of ‘achieving’ success

Keeping track of joy and marking progress every day - without holding yourself to impossible standards

Being forced to go slower - and how this helps you focus on the work that really needs to get done

And most recently -

My beef with those bloody pianos in train stations (specifically St Pancras) - ok, it’s really about feeling pressure to constantly show off your skills and what it means to ‘prove’ yourself, and whether having conflicted feelings about performing reduces your worth as an artist; but, you know, those pianos - and Elton John - have a lot to answer for.

Do you have a favourite? Have I struck a chord (lol)? Even more important - is there an ugly duckling in their midst? Does one of these topics need to be taken tactfully out the back and ‘let go’? It’s ok - I’ll do it.

Brutal, honest: let me know. I have an extraordinarily high pain threshold, emotionally - and you won’t ever need to know if I’m crying, because that’s how email works.

The desk where it all began. Which is always this tidy. Do not look off to the right of the photo and imagine the chaos shoved out of sight. Do not!

Homework

So, class - for today’s assignment, I want you to write to me. Leave a comment below or press reply to this email. I want to hear from you. I want to know what you like, what you don’t like. Do I bore you? Are you excited? Are there more things you want to hear about? Less? Fewer?

Do not spare me the gory details. I want to know when you rolled your eyes and why. I want to know why you pressed the share button or whether you left me to languish in your inbox for days.

Do you yearn for more of me and my escapades? Do you beg me for less?

It is impossible to break me.

I have been to Clown School, remember.

There is nothing left to break.

Nobody Likes Your Ornaments

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